Finally back on my feet again, so here is my last entry in this little blog of mine ;)

Well, my friends, GREAT NEWS! I just received a job offer and I start on Monday. I am deliriously happy :)

Karmic balance has been restored: As a person with a disability, I will be working as Communications Director for a charitable organization for people with disabilities. Now THAT is poetic justice at its finest.

When I started this blog six months ago, I was alone, afraid and in pain, both physical and emotional. Rheumatoid Arthritis had robbed me of the use of my hands, I was in constant pain, and my future looked dismal. My Rheumatologist said I may never be able to continue my career as a writer. So, I did two things: First, I started this anonymous blog because I had to reach out, I was hurting. And help came. People wrote to me, and offered their emotional support, for which I will be forever grateful. In turn, I tried to fill my blog with resources for people who were in the same boat, unemployed, broke and scared. I tried to pay it forward. I hope I helped someone out there. There were many, many times that I couldn't afford food on EI, my medications are very expensive. The Vancouver Food Bank helped me to survive. Thank you all!

Meanwhile, The Mary Pack Arthritis Centre in Vancouver took extra special care of me. My heartfelt thanks to the physiotherapists, especially Cindy who was a godsend, and my occupational therapist. They were there for me when I needed them and helped me to cope. The Centre also referred me to the Neil Squire Society for people with disabilities. Through them, I received training on Dragon Naturally Speaking voice recognition software, which allowed me to keep writing without my hands, and made a career future possible for me. How can I say thank you? The words are inadequate. Through them, I found the job that I start next week. They gave me my life back. Mike and Joe, God bless you!

The second thing I did was start writing a novel. It was pure rebellion, me thumbing my nose at this disease. I would write for 30-40 minutes, then had to stop and ice my hands, then I’d go right back to it. Every word I typed hurt, but I kept going. I am now a few months away from finished. When I told my doctor what I was doing, she couldn't believe it! But she applauded my courage and tenacity. Lesson lived: Never give up without a fight. The dedication in my novel begins with the sentence, “I wrote this novel because I was told I couldn't. Therefore, I would like to thank those few who believed I could.”

It took 5 months for the RA medications to start working, and the pain in my hands finally subsided. They still hurt a bit, but I have Dragon, and my splints, and I am able to endure. Through it all, my best friend, who lives in Calgary, was cheering me on, sending love and support by phone and email, and even sent me food when I had none. She was my angel and I love her immeasurably. May all your generosity come back you x 10!

I also have to mention that, in my pain and loneliness, I found an Owl Cam site on Ustream, Molly and McGee. There I met a group of wonderful, caring people who are as nutty about wildlife as I am. I made many friends and lasting friendships. They helped me through the worst of it. I love you all dearly and your friendship and laughter buoyed me up when I felt as though I was sinking. Thank you, thank you!!!!

To all of you readers, especially Kate, who has been following my blog since day one, God bless you all. You were a voice in the dark that helped me through. Please stay in touch with me at born2bwild_38@hotmail.com. If you ever need a friend, I am there for you.

I once said that I hoped this blog would be a story of triumph. I believe it has. My hope is that you all take heart and overcome your challenges with courage, faith and conviction. All things are possible.

And yes, at long last, I HAVE BREAD TODAY!!!!

My heartfelt gratitude for all your kindness and support. I wish you Love, Peace and Happiness. Adieu my friends.

When the going gets tough, the tough grow their own food. Smart or foolish? You tell me.

I didn't get the job I was hoping for, although I was one of the three final candidates. That was a huge disappointment, I must admit. The second company that was interested in me is dragging their heels, the Board of Directors is "reviewing" my candidacy; it's been two weeks now and no word. I'm in limbo ... and limbo sucks!

So, today, I have to pick myself up and dust myself off once again, and carry on. But there's a weight on my shoulders, called "fear of financial insecurity." I just shelled out another +$200 for my monthly medications, and once again, I have no food money. Last month, I withheld part of my rent (gave my landlord a cheque for partial rent on the 1st, plus a post-dated cheque for mid-month) so I could afford food, but I checked the Landlord/Tenant act, and it says if a tenant is consistently late in paying their rent, or gives partial payments, the landlord can serve them with an eviction notice. That means I can't keep doing that, I've been pushing my luck and i know it. I have to pay rent in full for June and bite the bullet. If you've read what the food bank distributes, you'll see that it isn't nearly enough to live on, but I have no options. It comes down to a choice between buying food versus medications, and if I go off my RA meds, I will have a flare up and lose the use of my hands again. I'm between a rock and a hard place.

I tried to be proactive. What do you think of this?: I spent $50 on vegetable plant seeds, seedlings and potting soil to create a container garden on my balcony. I already have radicchio lettuce growing and 2 cherry tomato plants that are flowering, so fruit won't be far behind. I have cabbage and beets growing and planted cucumbers, broccoli and spinach (still no sprouts on the last two). I also planted rosemary, dill and basil, all of which I have used so far (beats the heck out of paying for fresh herbs at the supermarket). The herbs may seem a bit frivolous, but they make plain rice taste delicious, so why not? In about a month, I will be able to eat my own produce. I thought it was a wise investment, but now, I wish I had the $50. Was planting smart or stupid? Will it "pay off" in the end? Let me know what you think.

I think I just made a "rainbow connection."

"The lovers, the dreamers, and me ... " Ok, I'll stop singing, for now.

Great news, world!! I have a second meeting lined up next week with a marvelous global organization - which just so happens to be my late mother's favorite "cause" - so there's freelance work possibilities, as well as a permanent high-falootin' Communications Specialist position that I am in the running for.

I made it through to the last round of interviews next week - only three of us left competing for the position. After two written exams for the role, I sure hope I land the full time gig. I've already put a lot into it, but whatever comes, it's a honour to work with the organization in ANY capacity. Of course, as a professional, I don't use words in the "real world" like high-falootin', that's what's so fun about a personal blog, and an anonymously written one at that. It's my verbal "sweatpants." God forbid I ever let my employers or colleagues know about it or read it ... but then, they wouldn't recognize me anyway, my style is so completely different in the professional sphere, and my novel is an even greater departure than that. I wear many hats, maybe berets, a few different chapeaus, whatever headgear writers wear.

I'd just like to take this opportunity to extend my heartfelt thanks to all my friends, readers and twitter followers - your kindness and support has helped - a LOT. My hands are now pain-free, I'm psyched to get back to my career in communications, and my novel is progressing quickly now, so if I can complete it by the end of the summer as planned, my life will be tickety-boo.

Ahhhh ... what a relief. After all I've gone through these past six months (and I have had to walk through fire, so-to-speak), battling RA and off work on medical leave, I am in a good place at last. So take heart, if you're going through a rough patch, remember, "This too shall pass." And if it doesn't, find a way to overcome and fly above the crap. Drop me a line, because it's all about helping each other to figure out how.

Now THAT'S what I call a food fight! Beating disease with nutrition.

The "right" foods boost our immune system to help us fight disease. This is a widely-accepted truth. Then why, myself included, do we resist buying things that we know are good for us, and continue to purchase processed foods and eat the "wrong" stuff? Three core reasons: cost, availability and convenience. But really, at the end the end of the day, what have we gained, except probably some weight? And what did we lose? Maybe a few dollars more for healthier options, and maybe thirty minutes of time not spent peeling, chopping and dicing. Is it worth it to go that extra mile and spend a little more? The answer, it seems, is a resounding YES!

A woman I know with RA, who is in full remission, medication-free and symptom-free, recently said to me, "If everyone ate as if they has cancer, RA and diabetes, then no one would have cancer, RA and diabetes." That being said, there's a lot to be learned from nutritional science, whether you are healthy right now or not, and prevention is the best form of medicine.

Case in point: In 1995, my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. She had a lumpectomy and thought she'd beaten it. But she didn't change her lifestyle after the fact. She didn't start eating better, she didn't try to get more exercise. In 2000, she was told that the cancer had metastasized to her brain, resulting in two inoperable tumours. She was given six months to a year to live. At the time, I read the book "Spontaneous Healing " written by Andrew Weil, M.D., and encouraged her to try some of his therapies, which focus heavily on nutrition. This Harvard graduate physician claims to have seen patients completely recover from cancer. I don't just mean full remission; I mean that they found NO TRACE of cancer in these patients after following his regimen, their tumours had completely vanished. A powerful claim, to be sure. Read his book for yourself. I found it quite convincing, but my mother poo-poo'd his theories. She passed away in May of 2001. I'm not saying she would have necessarily beaten cancer if she had made positive changes to her diet and lifestyle, but then again, who knows? I still wonder.

Here's my own recent experience: I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis in June, 2009. RA is the result of a collapse in the immune system. Obviously, if my own immune system is attacking me, I have to figure out why and how to correct it. Yes, I was put on triple medication therapy, and of course it has a lot to do with my recovery, but it hasn't answered the question of how I got this ill in the first place. I did a lot of reading about this disease and discovered that food allergies, while not a proven cause, had long been suspected as a trigger. No one root cause has been identified as a precursor to the development of RA yet, but it seems most likely that a combination of factors come into play, including a genetic predisposition, fed by stress, possibly food allergies and other nutritional factors, and smoking has been said to increase propensity of the illness (as with all illnesses), etc. Somehow, my genetic code, combined with less-than-ideal lifestyle choices concocted a dangerous RA cocktail. The other key ingredient: I wasn't getting enough exercise, which has been proven to reduce RA symptoms. Although, I have to say in my own defense, I have permanent damage to my feet, which makes it more challenging. Some days, it's painful for me to walk, even for five minutes, and my preferred (and cost-free) workouts are running or walking. Some days, both are out of the question. Best solution? Stationary bicycle. Problem A: I don't have one. Problem B: If I can't afford food, do you think I can afford a gym membership? Hell no.

By the way, for my regular readers, I'm FINALLY off prednisone, so hopefully I can now lose the 10 lbs that the steroids added to my waistline. I read one theory that people gain weight on prednisone because it causes them to eat more, but that wasn't true in my case. Believe me, with hardly any food on hand, eating more was NOT my issue. I packed on the pounds while eating less, although the content of my diet, at times, may have been partly to blame. I maintain that even when I stuck to tuna and veggies, I gained weight anyway. C'mon, they are steroids after all. ANOTHER great reason to get more exercise!

So back to food choices: I read a ton of research on the role of nutrition in fighting RA. When I adopted an "RA-recommended diet," my symptoms eased. I eliminated wheat and dairy, incorporated all organic veggies and tried new foods, such as fennel and kale. Although I taxed my joints with all the food preparation. Chopping can be problematic for RA sufferers. But by far the biggest snag for me was: eating all-organic can be expensive. Since I couldn't work due to my RA (although I am much recovered and able to return to work now) I was on medical EI. Money was so tight, I often had to rely on the Vancouver Food Bank, as my regular readers know. Most, if not all, items with a long shelf life are, of course, processed foods. The Food Bank, bless their well-intentioned hearts, gave me egg noodles, eggs, mac & cheese, etc. Furthermore, what's cheap and on sale at supermarkets? Canned foods, cup-o-noodles type meals, pasta and sauces (BTW, tomatoes and peppers are on the RA no-no list). You get the picture. My symptoms flared. I then realized I was eating a diet which was almost exclusive to wheat products and processed foods. Yes, vegetables are inexpensive, so why didn't I eat more of that? Because it's not what I was given, for starters. Long story short, I had come full circle and was once again eating all the "wrong stuff."

I gave myself a stern talking to, and am now back eating veggies and tuna as much as possible. Salmon is on the RA must-have list, but far more expensive, so tuna is the next best thing. It's hard to stick to a healthy eating plan, and I think part of the problem is that I tried to make a complete 180 and change absolutely everything I ate. That's hard to stick to. It's the classic failure switch for all diets. Cravings kick in. For me, bread was a big one. I still think of toast as a comfort food, probably because the food bank never had any! Plus, I have a few die-hard weaknesses: white sugar and real milk in my tea, for one. Coffee with cream and sugar for two, I can't take it black. Cheese. Oh, how I love cheese. I've tried the soy varieties, and while the Swiss-flavored one is palatable, the rest are, well, gross.

Here's where I'm at now: The solution (for me) is to make one positive change in my eating habits per week. You know what they say about the journey of a thousand miles beginning with the first step. I'm going to make one small change per week, one little step in the right direction. They will add up quickly. And, I'm going to tweet, every Friday, what my weekly step is going to be. For example, starting tomorrow, I am going to switch permanently to honey as a sweetener for my tea and coffee. There's a terrific blog post at http://www.amazing-green-tea.com/honey-health-benefits.html, about the benefits of honey, considered one of the best "healthy" sugar options, and from what I've read, has far more to offer than stevia. I'm also going to walk as far as I can stand on the days my feet aren't so bad, and once I'm gainfully employed again (which might be soon, I had two interviews this week!), yes I will join a gym and get my butt on a stationary bike!

If you'd care to join me in my "Step in the right direction," every week, follow me on twitter and we can do this together. I would love some company on this road to healthier eating and some warriors joining me in the fight. As always, I welcome any comments.

Welcome to a hands-free world. Saving the hands of the next generation.

This is a milestone. Right at this moment, I am writing my first hands-free blog post using Dragon Naturally Speaking voice recognition software.

As someone who has been writing for 42 years, I have to say it's a brave new world when you can type without lifting a finger. It's going to take some getting used to; I have always felt as though my hands were inextricably involved in the creative process of writing, so I'm going to have to adjust to a whole new psychology of writing. The main difference is, when I am physically typing, I never really know exactly how a sentence is going to end until I get there. And usually, by the time I get halfway through, I have already made a hundred decisions about which words to choose. I type (poorly), about 65 words per minute. With voice, I can type 95 words per minute, so I have to make those decisions a lot faster. Plus, with voice activated software, you kind of need to know where you're going at the outset. I still feel as though something important is lost in translation, but maybe it will start to feel more natural to me as I force myself to depend on it more and more. I need to, to save my hands and joints affected with Rheumatoid Arthritis from getting any worse.

I have lived through the transition from typewriters to computers, so I suppose this is just the next evolution of progress. I imagine that in the future, keyboards will cease to exist. Keyboards are a royal pain in the butt, and even the most modern keyboards still follow the same format as the original typewriter key layout invented in 1867. The position of the letters, designed to avoid long keys hitting each other, is far from ergonomic. Even modern, so-called "ergonomic" keyboards can't get away from that old letter positioning from the 1800s. Think about it: typists hit the letter "a" with their pinky finger, not the strongest digit on the human hand. And we all hit it often.

With all the games and texting kids do these days, there are already 20-year-olds with RSIs (repetitive strain injuries) that have lost the use of their hands. They're showing up at the centre for people with disabilities, where I go every week for Dragon training. It's heartbreaking. Cel phones, PSIs, iPhones, games, etc. etc., just think of how many minute muscle movements it takes for these kids to use all of their fav technologies. Eventually, everything will be voice activated, and it'll save a whole generation from waking up one day, like I did, and not being able to use their hands at all. Besides, it's nice when something listens to you and does what you say for a change, isn't it?

Crossing things off my bucket list and having a blast!

Well folks, things are looking up. I'm in the running for two, yes 2, job opportunities with very impressive non-profit organizations. Wish me luck!

Plus, I'm still reeling from all the Team Canada gold medal Olympic action. It's been cathartic and a GREAT time to live in Vancouver! I can't WAIT for the paralympics to start on March 12 so I can resume cheering.

Also this week, I will receive Dragon voice-activated software (for my job search) from the nice people who supply assisted technology to the disabled. Dragon will be loaded onto a loaner computer, complete with a new monitor, printer and special ball-tracking mouse that won't tax my hands. I'm excited and very grateful. I suspend all criticicm of "the government" today, since its agencies are the ones helping me out. Besides, Harper came to town for the hockey game and the closing ceremonies of the Olympics, so he can't be that bad.

I have to say that last April, when my hands seized with RA, my entire future evaporated before my eyes. It looked as though my career as a writer had come to an abrupt end, that I would have to abandon my hobbies (playing guitar and painting canvasses) and the dream of writing a novel in my golden years was over. But now that the medications are working and I have about 80% use of my hands back, plus with new tools like Dragon, all things are once again possible. Life is grand.

Being the stubborn little creature I am, and rebelling agains my hands when they were at their worst, I painfully and painstakingly pecked out 30,000 words of a novel. I thought it might be my one last chance, so I went for it. Over the course of the next six months, (usually I work on the novel on Sundays with a large pot of coffee as an accoutrement), I will finish the book. Why not live the dream right now? Besides, who knows if my hands will work at all when I'm an old lady. I wonder now why I didn't start it sooner!! There's no time like the present, right? It's been a blast so far, kept me motivated, my mind in creative mode and my blood stirring. Soon I'll be able to cross it off on my bucket list. Won't that feel good!

So, readers, if you're waiting for "someday," why not make it today? That's my take on all this. And if everything happens for a reason, then this was the brick landing on my head (or in this case, my hands) telling me to get a move on. Ouch ... but ... yay brick!

What's on your bucket list? I'd love to know.

Rick Hansen is my inspiration. He's still in motion, and so am I.

It's been a while since my last post. I have been busy job-hunting and training on Dragon voice recognition software so I can resume my writing career. Most days, I feel very positive. After all, I am STILL a skilled marketing communications and PR writer. Other days, like today, I experience an almost paralyzing fear. Unemployment takes its toll: financial stress, feeling "displaced," and unwanted, it can be overwhelming at times. I try not to give into my fears, but I have to be honest with you, readers, I feel physically exhausted from all the worrying.

I have been sitting at my desk for hours now, scanning a multitude of websites for job opportunities, and I came across something on the Rick Hansen Foundation site, in Rick's story, that made all the difference. It said, "Growing up in a rural environment with aunts, uncles and grandparents all close by, the close-knit family community played a pivotal role in the development of Rick’s character from a young age. That same close community rallied around him following his spinal cord injury providing strength and encouragement at a time when it made a critical difference to the path his life would take."

If you don't know Rick Hansen's story, I encourage you to read it at http://www.rickhansen.com. It gives me courage to overcome my RA, and puts my own minor physical challenges into perspective. As for support, you all know that both my parents are deceased, that I'm single, and that I have one brother in England who I rarely hear from, so I am sadly lacking in "support group" and "family." Hence, this blog. I heard it said on Oprah the other day, "Family refers to the people who love us when we need them." In that respect, I have one outstanding person: my best friend in Calgary who, just last week, mailed me a huge box of food and much-needed supplies, like toilet paper, deodorant and a new toothbrush. And, there are a few of you out there, anonymous though you may be, who have taken the time to write me with support and suggestions. I can't even begin to find the words with which to express my gratitude. A voice that says "I care" in the night can turn darkness into light. To all of you, thank you from the bottom of my heart. On days like today, you light my way in the dark. And to my best friend in Calgary, whose anonymity I respect as much as my own, I LOVE YOU!!!

As for me, I'm determined to keep moving forward and be the centre of my own "Woman in Motion" tour. How about that, Rick? Thanks for being my inspiration.