When the going gets tough, the tough grow their own food. Smart or foolish? You tell me.

I didn't get the job I was hoping for, although I was one of the three final candidates. That was a huge disappointment, I must admit. The second company that was interested in me is dragging their heels, the Board of Directors is "reviewing" my candidacy; it's been two weeks now and no word. I'm in limbo ... and limbo sucks!

So, today, I have to pick myself up and dust myself off once again, and carry on. But there's a weight on my shoulders, called "fear of financial insecurity." I just shelled out another +$200 for my monthly medications, and once again, I have no food money. Last month, I withheld part of my rent (gave my landlord a cheque for partial rent on the 1st, plus a post-dated cheque for mid-month) so I could afford food, but I checked the Landlord/Tenant act, and it says if a tenant is consistently late in paying their rent, or gives partial payments, the landlord can serve them with an eviction notice. That means I can't keep doing that, I've been pushing my luck and i know it. I have to pay rent in full for June and bite the bullet. If you've read what the food bank distributes, you'll see that it isn't nearly enough to live on, but I have no options. It comes down to a choice between buying food versus medications, and if I go off my RA meds, I will have a flare up and lose the use of my hands again. I'm between a rock and a hard place.

I tried to be proactive. What do you think of this?: I spent $50 on vegetable plant seeds, seedlings and potting soil to create a container garden on my balcony. I already have radicchio lettuce growing and 2 cherry tomato plants that are flowering, so fruit won't be far behind. I have cabbage and beets growing and planted cucumbers, broccoli and spinach (still no sprouts on the last two). I also planted rosemary, dill and basil, all of which I have used so far (beats the heck out of paying for fresh herbs at the supermarket). The herbs may seem a bit frivolous, but they make plain rice taste delicious, so why not? In about a month, I will be able to eat my own produce. I thought it was a wise investment, but now, I wish I had the $50. Was planting smart or stupid? Will it "pay off" in the end? Let me know what you think.