Quieting the critical inner voice of self-recrimination. Aw, shaddup.

The folks lining up at the food bank are not a bunch of alcoholics and addicts, as some assume they would be. There is no "ethnic majority" either. People from every walk of life and socioeconomic level are broke. Those who cling to a, "that could never happen to me," perspective are misguided. You'd be surprised how quickly and easily you can suddenly find yourself facing eviction, hunger and homelessness. We're all just one paycheque (or EI, disability or welfare cheque) away from the street. In one fell swoop, a sudden severe illness or emergency can wipe away your job, security and savings. It can happen in a blink. Plus, the recession doesn't discriminate. Those with 6-digit salaries and huge mortgages are in peril just as much as us "regular Joes." They might have a larger "cushion" to eke it out on, but they also have a lot more to lose. That's the upside of having very little. We're more mobile and pack up easily ;) Yay!

Many people like to point fingers and believe folks bring hardship upon themselves. It's the "you get what you deserve" mentality. Ironically, from what I have observed, that particular attitude seems to emanate predominantly from people who have never been in a hardship situation, so they feel "smarter," and "above it." The fact is, they're clueless. I understand that people need to believe in a just world, so it's a fear-based stance. Sure, there are (must be) situations where people bring on their own misery entirely, although I can't think of one at the moment, but life doesn't dole out misfortune like that. You have not been "selected" for crap to happen to. The universe is not picking on you. No one spotted you in a crowd and said, "That one! You deserve to suffer." Besides, I have learned a lot by being "up against a wall." Even if I was somehow selected for this, then thanks! Really, I'm grateful. It's been a soulful experience so far. Maybe it IS a just world, but in disguise. I have received so much through all of this, on every level of being (that sounds corny, but I hope you get what I'm saying).

Why this tirade from Jo today? Well, I recently told someone that cigarette smoking increases the risk of developing rheumatoid arthritis. Big mistake. Although I don't smoke anymore, I felt a kind of, "then you brought this on yourself" attitude emanating from the person I told this to. FYI, I was diagnosed with RA last June, and that was the starting point of all my recent financial woes. I couldn't work - doctor's orders. The meds are expensive and ate my savings away. RA was the catalyst. Anyway, sure, I didn't do myself any favours by smoking for 30 years, but here's what the doctor's know (or rather, don't know): "The cause of rheumatoid arthritis is unknown. Even though infectious agents such as viruses, bacteria, and fungi have long been suspected, none has been proven as the cause. The cause of rheumatoid arthritis is a very active area of worldwide research. It is believed that the tendency to develop rheumatoid arthritis may be genetically inherited. It is also suspected that certain infections or factors in the environment might trigger the activation of the immune system in susceptible individuals." See http://www.medicinenet.com/rheumatoid_arthritis/page2.htm

Here's my take, readers: Whatever your plight may be, know what is "yours" and discard the rest. Be honest and brave enough to own "your part" in it, however large or small it might be. Think hard about how you got here, just so you can learn from adversity and avoid this snake pit in the future - but don't take the world on your shoulders. You are not to blame if you're sick. Corporate layoffs are not your fault, and the high unemployment rate does make it tough to find work right now. As long as you are doing all you can and not using any of this as an excuse, you're doing fine. My point is: know where to draw the line. I remember my favourite quote from the movie, Forrest Gump, "I don't know if we each have a destiny, or if we're all just floating around accidental-like on a breeze, but I, I think maybe it's both. Maybe both is happening at the same time."

Poo happens that is beyond your control, and life is hard enough without you "beating yourself up," about where you're at. Blame gets you nowhere. And don't let anyone else verbally beat you up about it either. Keep your chins up and continue moving forward. Persevere. If anyone takes their boots to you when you're down and tries to make you feel like everything is all your fault, tell them to ... well, you know. And whatever your religion or beliefs, respectfully, I personally can't buy into the notion that God puts us in a pickle, as a "test," or "learning experience," or whatever, but I do believe that faith (of any kind) can help you through it. That's been my experience, but to each his own. It's Sunday, time for a rest. Let's all have a mental holiday today, shall we?